Sorry this is kind of late (dad... hah). This past week was eventful.
I was on nights Sunday through Wednesday evening. Becasue of this, I was able to go to church on Sunday. I spent the night Saturday (two weeks ago) at some of my friends' house (Nick and Jessica) and went with them to church in the morning. I hung (?grammar?) out with them and Nick's cousin, Luke, and Luke's girlfriend, Christa, all day after that. Then I went to church at night with Luke and Christa at the church the small group I go to is affiliated with.
On Thursday I went into town and hung out with Sarah at a coffee shop in Redding(Friend/Co-worker/boss) and then went over to Nick and Jessica's house for a few hours.
Friday my parents came (wooooooooooo!!!!). I showed them around Redding and then we went back to our hotel for the evening.
Saturday we drove up to my work and I showed them around. Then we went back into town and to the Shasta Dam. Afterwards, we went over to my mom's friend from college, Julie Duvall's house and I met her family. We had dinner there and talked. I think I will be able to stay with them sometimes. That is exciting! They are very sweet people.
I spent the night at my parent's hotel on Saturday night and woke up early to drive up to work on Sunday morning.
I am pretty homesick/sad right now... I am going to be going to Seattle this weekend to hang out with Anna and Kelsey and meet Anna's boyfriend, Mark, so that is exciting. But then coming back from that is going to be hard, I know. AHH. I love this job... I just need to keep remembering that. God has me here and now and I really, truly do love it. I just miss people and being in a city and apart of a church.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Week 10
Originally, I was planning on coming up with more creative titles than simply the week number but I think I am just going to stick with this... it feels like an accomplishment every time I type the increasing number each week. That may change eventually. Who knows?! Woo.
Well... this week... what to write? Work was good. We took the girls to the pool on Monday and to the lake Tuesday to hang out with a youth group. Every night I went over to the house of my boss/friend, Sarah. We attempted to watch a movie Sunday night but ended up rewinding like 3 or 4 times because we kept talking. Eventually we stopped rewinding it and just kept talking. I think I will watch the movie when I am on night shift this next week.
Tuesday night Sarah and I took one of the JYA/RVCA girls to the ER because she was having "chest pain". Two weeks ago, she "tore" a ligament in her shoulder, this week she found lump that MUST be cancer, and there was something else... maybe a "broken" ankle... I can't remember. Basically, I am 99.9% sure she was NOT actually having chest pain but we can't take chances. We were at the ER from 11pm to 5:30am so I went into work at noon. This reminded me of when I was in Canada at MWA (the program/boarding school I went to), I tried to break my ankle every day for the first few weeks so that I would have to be sent home. hahah I am now grateful God made my bones steel but at the time I was quite upset with Him over that fact. The things we do sometimes...
I went to counseling for the second time today. It was AWESOME. I am excited to see what God is going to do in and through me during this season of life. So far it has been quite difficult but really good.
Anna was telling me last week something about how one of the roots of the word "grace" in the Greek is "thankfulness" and another is "joy". So I prayed that God would reveal areas in my life in which I am/can be thankful to God in order that I might be reminded of His Grace so that I can live joyfully, having full confidence in His goodness. I needed to do this because I was on the verge of living in a combination of self-pity and fear that life will only ever be hard.
God has been so good. My idols have been further exposed--specifically my desire to be in control of my life and comfort myself when I am anxious. Jan, Anna's mom, told something that resonated with me today: anxiety is not the enemy, it is simply a feeling. One that I don't need to kill but one that I can simply feel and pray through. She has told me this many, many times and will have to many, many more. When I actually do that--pray through my anxiety and ask Jesus where He is in it--I know I have been freed from it but I keep going back to trying to deal with it on my own. I am quite glad that God is enduring and will continue to pursue me when I run from Him and try to do this life by my own strength.
Steve Tompkins, Anna's family friend and pastor at Mars Hill (Seattle, NOT Michigan) told her that there are two requirements that have to be met in a relationship before you decide to marry a man. The first is that you respect him in general but especially that you respect him spiritually. The second is that you and he are good buddies.
Another thing--While I was still dating the guy I talked about last week, I kept freaking out that I would keep dating him when I shouldn't. That fear was a result of the fact that I didn't really believe God would tell me whether or not I should stop dating him. Guess what? He told me! Crazy. God is faithful AND trustworthy AND He will protect me? Heck. Yes. He is/will. Going on two dates with the guy was an act of repentance/obedience since I usually run from guys when they actually show interest in me. "Ending it" was also an act of repentance/obedience because I knew he was not someone I would respect spiritually or who would lead me spiritually.
So this post, as usual, has been kind of "stream of consciousness" rather than having a definite structure. Sorry... but I am not really that sorry or I would change it. hah.
Well... this week... what to write? Work was good. We took the girls to the pool on Monday and to the lake Tuesday to hang out with a youth group. Every night I went over to the house of my boss/friend, Sarah. We attempted to watch a movie Sunday night but ended up rewinding like 3 or 4 times because we kept talking. Eventually we stopped rewinding it and just kept talking. I think I will watch the movie when I am on night shift this next week.
Tuesday night Sarah and I took one of the JYA/RVCA girls to the ER because she was having "chest pain". Two weeks ago, she "tore" a ligament in her shoulder, this week she found lump that MUST be cancer, and there was something else... maybe a "broken" ankle... I can't remember. Basically, I am 99.9% sure she was NOT actually having chest pain but we can't take chances. We were at the ER from 11pm to 5:30am so I went into work at noon. This reminded me of when I was in Canada at MWA (the program/boarding school I went to), I tried to break my ankle every day for the first few weeks so that I would have to be sent home. hahah I am now grateful God made my bones steel but at the time I was quite upset with Him over that fact. The things we do sometimes...
I went to counseling for the second time today. It was AWESOME. I am excited to see what God is going to do in and through me during this season of life. So far it has been quite difficult but really good.
Anna was telling me last week something about how one of the roots of the word "grace" in the Greek is "thankfulness" and another is "joy". So I prayed that God would reveal areas in my life in which I am/can be thankful to God in order that I might be reminded of His Grace so that I can live joyfully, having full confidence in His goodness. I needed to do this because I was on the verge of living in a combination of self-pity and fear that life will only ever be hard.
God has been so good. My idols have been further exposed--specifically my desire to be in control of my life and comfort myself when I am anxious. Jan, Anna's mom, told something that resonated with me today: anxiety is not the enemy, it is simply a feeling. One that I don't need to kill but one that I can simply feel and pray through. She has told me this many, many times and will have to many, many more. When I actually do that--pray through my anxiety and ask Jesus where He is in it--I know I have been freed from it but I keep going back to trying to deal with it on my own. I am quite glad that God is enduring and will continue to pursue me when I run from Him and try to do this life by my own strength.
Steve Tompkins, Anna's family friend and pastor at Mars Hill (Seattle, NOT Michigan) told her that there are two requirements that have to be met in a relationship before you decide to marry a man. The first is that you respect him in general but especially that you respect him spiritually. The second is that you and he are good buddies.
Another thing--While I was still dating the guy I talked about last week, I kept freaking out that I would keep dating him when I shouldn't. That fear was a result of the fact that I didn't really believe God would tell me whether or not I should stop dating him. Guess what? He told me! Crazy. God is faithful AND trustworthy AND He will protect me? Heck. Yes. He is/will. Going on two dates with the guy was an act of repentance/obedience since I usually run from guys when they actually show interest in me. "Ending it" was also an act of repentance/obedience because I knew he was not someone I would respect spiritually or who would lead me spiritually.
So this post, as usual, has been kind of "stream of consciousness" rather than having a definite structure. Sorry... but I am not really that sorry or I would change it. hah.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Week 9
WELL. It is crazy to me that I have been here for 9 weeks... I am pretty homesick and have been for like a week and a half.
I started working with B3 this week and LOVED it. The girls are great and we can talk to them more openly about Jesus, which is really exciting. I am working with them this next week and I think I will be working with both the JYA/RVCA (troubled teen) program and B3 after that. I am not totally sure how that will work out though.
I took one of my friends/co-workers/roommate, Stacy to the Sacramento Airport on Thursday and then hung out in SAC all day.
The "thing" I was really struggling with last week was dating a guy. I went on a date with him before I left for Portland and then another one last night. He is really, really nice and funny and cute and likes cats and has a tattoo (hah) BUT he is a lukewarm Christian. His life goals and mine are totally different in that I want to serve God wherever He sends me and this guy wants to settle down and live "the American Dream"--I don't think he would say that exactly, but based on our conversations that's what I have understood. Whenever I have brought God up or something about faith he doesn't really respond and he said "I haven't ever really had a 'relationship' with God"... yeah... that's a no go.
I am going to meet him tonight after he gets off work and tell him I do not want to keep dating him. That is super intimidating to me... as it should be, I suppose. He seems to really like me so that stinks and is weird... But really, it was two dates it won't be that upsetting.
This whole process has been a lesson in trusting God to lead me one step at a time. I was really anxious and wanted to stop dating him before he even asked me out BUT I kept getting to know him till I felt like God was saying "no" and now I am "ending it". I am encouraged by the fact that God must have worked on my heart a LOT in the past few years because I wouldn't have listened so quickly in years past. It has also revealed how important it is to me if I get married to marry someone who loves studying the Bible and growing in his relationship with and knowledge of God. I also think I might want to live abroad for a while. Who knows? I am in Redding now. I WILL do this well.
I addressed most of the envelopes for Kelsey's wedding. That was fun! I only have a few more to go. I can't think of anything else to write... I am really homesick... did I mention that? :/
I started working with B3 this week and LOVED it. The girls are great and we can talk to them more openly about Jesus, which is really exciting. I am working with them this next week and I think I will be working with both the JYA/RVCA (troubled teen) program and B3 after that. I am not totally sure how that will work out though.
I took one of my friends/co-workers/roommate, Stacy to the Sacramento Airport on Thursday and then hung out in SAC all day.
The "thing" I was really struggling with last week was dating a guy. I went on a date with him before I left for Portland and then another one last night. He is really, really nice and funny and cute and likes cats and has a tattoo (hah) BUT he is a lukewarm Christian. His life goals and mine are totally different in that I want to serve God wherever He sends me and this guy wants to settle down and live "the American Dream"--I don't think he would say that exactly, but based on our conversations that's what I have understood. Whenever I have brought God up or something about faith he doesn't really respond and he said "I haven't ever really had a 'relationship' with God"... yeah... that's a no go.
I am going to meet him tonight after he gets off work and tell him I do not want to keep dating him. That is super intimidating to me... as it should be, I suppose. He seems to really like me so that stinks and is weird... But really, it was two dates it won't be that upsetting.
This whole process has been a lesson in trusting God to lead me one step at a time. I was really anxious and wanted to stop dating him before he even asked me out BUT I kept getting to know him till I felt like God was saying "no" and now I am "ending it". I am encouraged by the fact that God must have worked on my heart a LOT in the past few years because I wouldn't have listened so quickly in years past. It has also revealed how important it is to me if I get married to marry someone who loves studying the Bible and growing in his relationship with and knowledge of God. I also think I might want to live abroad for a while. Who knows? I am in Redding now. I WILL do this well.
I addressed most of the envelopes for Kelsey's wedding. That was fun! I only have a few more to go. I can't think of anything else to write... I am really homesick... did I mention that? :/
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