Week 28

This week I was off campus a lot taking girls to church, to the doctor, to the store, to the airport, etc. I like when I get to do that because I get to hang out with the students I am with in a more direct way. I also like it because I am not "on the mountain". :)

This week was especially hard for me to be kind and/or patient with one student in particular. I almost snapped at her and did "give her attitude" a few times. As I was walking with my girls back towards the dorm from our dining hall, thinking about how frustrated I was with this particular student, God said, "so are you just going to love the lovable?" AHHHHlahroieiaegoeanehaeiw. It is always SO fun to have your actions and thoughts exposed by God for what they REALLY are. woooo. so fun.

I am starting to pray that God would show me where He is working on me or how I can grow through this season rather than praying that God would show me that He is not only sovereign but good. He is good. I need to stop freaking out about the fact I act as though that is not true and ask God to mold me the way He intends to for this season. Which, I believe, will get my eyes off of me and my concerns for my future and onto God and what He is doing.

I am still struggling with letting go of a guy from home. It annoys me that I still think about him. It also annoys me that I am annoyed with my thoughts about him and therefore dwell on how ridiculous me thinking about him is instead of just praying about it. My mind is so fun sometimes.

I have been thinking about missions again. I want to "go". I don't know where or when or for how long. All I know is that I want to "go". Freakin' school debt.

What I am praying and thinking about missions:

I think and hope that I will eventually "go" but do I wait till I pay off all my student loans--I don't want other people to pay for my education when I could have easily gone to a less expensive school. [By the way, I know God wanted me to be at HIU.]

Do I go on a short-term trip? I don't really like the idea of them; they seem to do more good for the individual going than for the individuals being "ministered" to--not that that is negative. I just think that maybe I would rather donate the money I would spend on the trip to an organization in a local community.

What about the church here? There are obvious places God is moving here. There are people here who need Jesus.

We'll see what Jesus says.